Only one person in ten will be less than 50-years-old when
they are diagnosed with colon cancer, and a very small percentage will be
less than 30-years-old. Yet, here I am
in my twenties, battling a cancer that usually occurs later in life. So, Cancer, I have just a few words for you.
Dear Cancer,
I,
to some extent, have known you just about my whole life. In the last seven
years, I have cared for hundreds of people affected by you. I have seen the pain, hurt, fear, guilt, and
loss that you have inflicted upon so many. I have seen you transform beautiful
people, of all ages, over the course of weeks to years into barely recognizable
reflections of what they once were. You
are never welcome, and always painful. The general public uses your name to
describe something negative, unwanted, or disliked. For whatever reason, you
decided to take up residence in my colon, and I now know you intimately. Excuse my wording, but F-you cancer. By definition you are just the result of
uncontrolled division of abnormal cells, but you are so much more. You are a
curse, a disease, and a killer.
Before
we met, I was a happily married, mother of two, getting ready to begin my life
in a new home. You abruptly entered my life, unwanted, and have now changed the
course of my life forever. My children will now have to deal with you… I hate
you for that. You, cancer, are
unfair. You take the innocent lives of
children, mothers, fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers, wives, husbands,
sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles…I could go on and on. I have known so many wonderful people who
were taken from this earth because of you. Why? What for? There seems to be no
reason to your madness. Some people
fight you and “win”, and others fight you and “loose”. I am finding out that there is no real choice
in the matter. Everyone fights the same fight, and you determine the winners
and the losers. You are not wanted.
Ever.
However, you do not care that you are not welcome, you invite yourself in anyway. So there is nothing anyone can do, but accept you. I am learning to do just that. You see, you have not just been a curse, but a blessing. Since we have become acquaintances, I see everything through a new set of eyes. I have learned not only to believe, but to have faith. I do not worry about life the way I used to, instead I just pray and hold on for the ride. Also, I have learned to count my blessings in each and every day, and to just be thankful for what I have been given. Not to say that I have become this perfect person since we have met, because there are definitely times when you get the best of me. You have caused me many breakdowns, tears, pain, and stress. But, at the end of the day, all of the trials you cause just end up making me a stronger person.
You see, cancer, you can also be a blessing, a giver of hope and courage, and a sign of strength. Not only have I seen the hurt you cause, but I have also seen the strength of those who survive. I have seen the thousands of people coming together with hope and optimism of finding a cure. I have seen miracles happen, and courage and strength formed in the meekest of situations. So while I do hate you, I am going to embrace you. I am going to take the good with the bad, and just keep pressing forward by thanking God for every day I get on this earth.
“Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.” 1 Corinthians 16:
